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Halloween brothers - Chapter 1

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by _IshEric, Oct 1, 2017.

  1. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    Hello everyone :geek:. So I want to make a Halloween story for Halloween just for fun :D I hope you all enjoy the story! There will be 5 chapter into the story. The schedule story date will be posted down below ↓ So I hope you enjoy it! Ps: I'm not that good at grammar so don't judge please ;3;

    Chapter 1 - October 1

    Chapter 2 - October 8

    Chapter 3 - October 15

    Chapter 4 - October 22

    (Last story) Chapter 5 - October 31 The day of Halloween >xD
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Chapter 1 - Are we being watched?

    Once upon a time in a State called Maryland, there were 3 boys named James, Tommy, and John. The boys will be in a great Great Adventure were they fight there way into saving Halloween. BOYS DINNERS READY! Aww come on mom we just got into the best part on Minecraft! We were ... *Mom come upstairs* Boys I said.. Mom we heard you were coming said John. MmmMm m-mom this f-food is tasty. Well it is my special Halloween food.

    So boys what are you going to be for Halloween? Now this might sound dumb but there all 13 and Halloween is still there "thing". Well we were all think of being ourselves this year. Ummm ok but that not a costume boys. But mom we don't need costume for Halloween we can Just be ourselves. *Mom slams hand on table* EXCUSE ME YOU DON'T TALK BACK TO ME! IM YOUR MOM I KNOW WHAT GOOD FOR YOU! UNDERSTAND THAT?! *dad walk in* hay hay what with all the noise in here? Ugh these boys don't want to were costume and what I'm saying is what I think is good for them is to were costume but they don't want to. It's make me range and angry when I.. Ok ok we just need to calm down here. Look Halloween is in 15 days we still have time to go and get costume.

    *Boys argue* UGH -_- SO do we Have to were Halloween costume? Well if your mom and I agree then yes. Then I'm not going to Halloween this year say Tommy. Me neither, same said John. C'mon boys it will be fun! Just put on a costume and be ready! F-F-FINE! *Tommy leave angrily* Welp James and me are just going to bed can we just talk about this tomorrow? Sure boys get some rest see cye tommorow. *In there rooms* Psst* guys are you awake? You don't have to ask me that said Tommy.

    *John looks at James* Look Tommy John and me don't like this idea of "costume" for Halloween you don't either. But we have to deal with it and move on. If mom says it for our good then she must be right so just let it go and move on. Please Tommy? J-Just Leave me alone I don't need your "helpful" thing you said to me now go and leave me. Well John he didn't get it did he ._. *James shack head sadly* The next day wasn't better. Um boys can we talk after school? Why asked John. Umm well *scratches head" your mom and me been thinking of something very serious that we need to talk about. Sure Dad we understand.

    Thanks now head of to school you don't want to miss this bus. *At school* James said john, Yaa? Isn't it weird that Tommy hasn't said anything since yesterday? Yaaa I fell like...like he worried about something else not just Halloween. But what else could it be were brothers, brothers stick together. Well let's not think about it Halloween is in 14 days we have time to think about it what we need is to stick to school. *Bell rings* Well see you in 4 period.

    On see cye James. Now class Welcome back from your weekend now take out your textbooks and turn to page 45 and do work pages 67-72. Psst* Lily. Ya John? Now Lily is one of John friend in 1,4,5 period. Lily can I ask you something? If is another pun no thanks John -_-. No no it's about 2 things, Halloween and Tommy. Ohh what wrong is everyone alrighty. Yaa it's just Halloween is not cutting us this year and it all Tommy stuff that going in mind. What wrong with Tommy. I was wondering if you knew. Nope sorry but he been acting strange today. Ya since yesterday he hasn't talk to us not even too our mom or dad.

    Ohh..well do you want me to ask me him? Umm sure and thank that will be very helpful! Np and weclome I'll see what I can do~. *Period 4 came* So James and John sit down in the cafeteria. Psst* LILY! Over here! *Lily walks over* Hey Lily said James. Hey James. Ok so here the deal, yesterday we were fight because we didn't want to were costume for Halloween and... Wait! Why don't you guys want to were costume? Well this year we just want to ourselves, nothing specific. Aww that cute being yourself that so creative of you guys!

    Yup anyways back to the point, My mom said no she wants use in costume. Then my dad came and settle my mom down. So that were it all started... Tommy got mad and left saying "F-F-FINE" and then there poof gone and that all I remember. So may me get this straight You don't want to wear costume but your mom forcing you to do it then your dad came and calm your mom so out of nowhere Tommy got angry and said "F-F-Fine" the left and that what all it? Yup basically all it. So what we need you to do is try like try talking to him.

    I'll try but from this point of view I doubt he's going to say anything but I'll try brb. *10min later* Lily LILY what did he said?! Sadly I couldn't get anything from him but he seem like he thinking of something very important he doesn't want to say. Ugh *sigh* thanks like for trying. Np I'll going with my friends see cye. Bye Lily said James and John. *on the bus* Well..... James? Ya John? Do we have too.. YES we need to talk to Tommy see what wrong with him. But not right now. How come? Umm remember?

    Dad and mom want to talk to us about "something". Oh ya darn it well we're talk to him after mom and dad speaks to us. *James open door" Hey mom said John. Didn't expect you to be in the front door. Mom didn't say anything. Tommy, James, and John in the kitchen now. Mom your scaring us said James. You shouldn't be scard said Tommy in a cold voice. T-tommy the way you said that... Well anyone want to take a guess why Tommy has been acting wired? Said dad. Umm no that what we been wondering all day. Well we have some.. some new that I want you and James to take serious. Now you guys know Tommy right?

    Yaa.. You guys treating him like a brother and so did I and your dad but *tears*. You guys are 13 so it's time we tell you *cries* honey you tell them. O-ok Well guys Tommy is adopted. WHAT both of then said !!!!! DAD! MOM! How could you ALL THIS TIME WE THOUGHT HE WAS OUR BROTHER!! Were sorry boys really we are I couldn't think of how to say it.. Shut up mom this is a mistake im im.. *John and James runs to bed room* How could mom do that to us!

    *Tommy open door* GO AWAY FACK BROTHER! You BEEN WATCHING US LIKE A CREEP FOR MY HOLE LIFE! Look guys I'm sorry to really I am I'm heart broken and so are mom and dad but do want me to tell you why this happen? Sure just do it before you tell another stupid lie about you.. Ok I'm sorry really i am! So it all started in October 12 of 2004...


    To be continue...

    ------------------------------------------------------
    I'm so sorry of ending it like this xD tell me how the story is I'll like to here your Feedback! Next chapter in October 9

    (EDIT!) Chapter 2 is out!!!!
    https://www.brlns.net/forums/threads/halloween-brothers-chapter-2.34106/


    Peace <3
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2017
    PhantomS, CamilaEllie, Strel and 2 others like this.
  2. KendraHawk

    KendraHawk Notable Member

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    That was good! :D It could use some work, though
     
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  3. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    Yes xD
     
  4. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    Maybe next time I'll add some screenshots into it so it looks more realistic
     
  5. HermioneJG

    HermioneJG Notable Member

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    It seems like it would be a good story, but your writing could be better... everything was in one paragraph (unless the phone screen just made it look that way), and you didn't have any quotation marks, so it was kinda confusing to read :/ No offense
     
  6. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    And this is why I don't write story's ._. but thx anyway
     
  7. Phoe

    Phoe Notable Member

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    Ever heard of paragraphs? ._.
     
  8. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    Ya thx I just got that ._.
     
  9. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    Fine I'll edit it into paragraph ._.
     
  10. Phoe

    Phoe Notable Member

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    XD s
     
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  11. B3N

    B3N Notable Member Emerald Member

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    read the first sentence of the story and came here to say that MARYLAND IS NOT A COUNTRYYY XD ITS A STATEEE XD
     
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  12. B3N

    B3N Notable Member Emerald Member

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    but nice! needs some work though!!
     
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  13. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    State? XD I'm bad at this xD
     
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  14. B3N

    B3N Notable Member Emerald Member

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    state- a country-LIKE area in the USA
     
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  15. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    Wut? ._.
     
  16. _Kiwii

    _Kiwii Notable Member Emerald Member

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    That was a good story but like Hermy said.

    You could add quotation marks to make it less confusing cause I thought when whoever was speaking, was a sentence. Likewise, Keep up the story :lmao:
     
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  17. SodaTheDutchAD

    SodaTheDutchAD Notable Member

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  18. _IshEric

    _IshEric Notable Member Emerald Member

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    Ok I'll remember that when I make Chapter 2 xD
    Thank you Pepsi xD
     

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