_IshEric

Hey, you probably opened this up as you stumbled upon my profile and notice that I have been gone a while and wondered why. Well, I guess this shall be a fantastic and remarkable thing to read.

Shall we?

For starters, I'm out.

I failed to leave this place in 2017 (apparently), I failed to leave this place in 2018. 2019, I didn't try to leave this place but I almost did but stopped myself from doing so.

But this is it, my old friend. This. is. it. I'm 15 years old, not 12, not 13, and definitely not 14 anymore.
High school has been throwing rocks at me left to right, class to class I felt like breaking down from the massive amount of work I get along with the amount of homework I receive and order to do.

Being the freshman I am, it isn't easy lol but moving along.

Being part of this community for 2 years and 4 months straight, it was fantastic and I don't regret ever enjoining this place. Heck, I can call this my main home if I wanted to. But instead, it was my second home but that's the thing...

This place doesn't feel like home anymore.

If I had to choose a year where this place was the best, well, it would have to be the 2018's. I battled through some hardcore stuff in those times and if it wasn't for the people in this community, I wouldn't be the person I am today.
Okay fine, that was a bit cliché and not true but although, there are some remarkable things in this place that did help me through my toughest times.

But now, I know better. I was such a child back then that obviously wanted attention and nothing else. That's not who I am anymore. I know how to control the feelings inside of me without seeking any help which some people could say it's bad to do so as you could have a massive breakdown one day but I know when to get help.

Tying that up, my words and actions have changed ever since I started to read up on behaviors and how they should be treated and when to ask for help. I studied more of it and now I'm in a place where I try to be as nice as I can when an angry conversation is outgoing but I haven't quite achieved that yet.
Maybe perhaps I will while I take a long break from this place.

Writing on the forums has been a blast for me for the past two years. From one of the greatest people I have met on here, was the reason why I started to do what I love to do most today, writing! (You know who you are).

From starting my first story around October 1, 2017, to improving and adapting to that sort of stuff and searching how I could improve my writing. I mean hell, I have written 3 of the longest stories ever to be written on the forums (which btw, was the 3 most frustrating stories to write lol; especially the last one).

But that was that. My job here is done with writing my fantasy stories on the forums. Don't get me wrong, I adore writing every single day for the community, and even if none of them got noticed, that didn't stop me from writing because writing is my favorite thing to do.
I was also known for being a nerd on here and in real life just because I wear glasses and loved to write whenever I got the free time. If it wasn't writing, it was read or just playing on my phone.

Either way, I'll never remember the stories I have written and *maybe* I'll look back at my old writing in a few years from now and possibly turn them into movies. But a kid can only dream for now.

If you've gone this far of reading my farewell, congrats, you'll halfway through my message of the main reason why I decided to leave this place.

Another thing I freaking hate and hated writing was wolf games and mafia games. Every single damn time I signed up for one, some idiot would target me; getting into a mood where I didn't like and started going up on the game when really, it was my fault.

With writing, I just didn't find the fun in it which is another reason why I never did a wolf nor a mafia game (though I did one on January 1, 2018, shortly after, getting in trouble since I didn't give credit to that person I despite a lot, still, thank you for the great memories, I won't forget).

Well, my writing is done on here for now. Someone else can write stories, I'm tired and I need a rest from it.

My life right now is like water flowing in a river. A calm harmony with gentle waves crashing onto big rocks in their way. I would love to keep it like that while I still can.

As a freshman, you start to rely on what you want to work and since I will be turning 16 this year. This is irrelevant but I like to imagine life as a video game. You have one life, once that life is gone, you're done, No respawning back. You can get hurt as many times in a lifespan where yes, it could kill you but if you're strong enough as a character to know that you're capable of doing incredible things then nothing could kill you.

Back to life.
I sometimes sit outside in the middle of the night and wonder the possibilities and things that we haven't discovered yet that could be right under our noses such as a cure for cancer. Whenever I'm in public, my mind takes over and narrators what's about to happen or what's happening, sorta like a Netflix show where the narrator takes over the main character before starting off as the show "DayBreak" (highly recommend btw)

I like to be alone most of the time in school and at home. I only trust real people I could trust such as my family and close friends. On the forums, it's the same thing, I know the relationship (friend way) that I have on people and which I could trustfully. Yes, I have like a bunch of enemies on the server and on here and that my friend; for each one is the exact same answer that comes into their mind when they see me.

I haven't been the best of friends with those people which is why I want to give them their space and perhaps maybe they might forgive me after a year passes by.
For those who I hurt:

Look, there's no way in hell you could ever forgive me for the things I did to you. I don't ever tend to be forgiven. But with this situation, I took with all of you, there's just no way I could fix the awful mistakes I have done.
I'm not here to clear the beef we had, but I'm here to own up for the mistakes I did. It stings from the inside, I know.

I apologies for those people, and I know I said this many times but there's just no way to own up to those mistakes. A simple "sorry" won't make matters better which is why I don't usually say it.

Anyways, I apologize, this won't fix anything but hopefully, you guys have the rest of the new decade to think about it.

And to my new life, I will try to be a better person that I could be for 2020 as I won't be here for this year. (Will explain my returning later on in this farewell).

Now, the forums

You may not have notice but this is actually my second account. The first account I made here was called "Eric" or something which was created on March 31, 2017; way before I created this account.

I didn't think about it so much until I decided to check it out and see what it was all about. Also on a side note, my friends on the server were begging me to join and well, hello! I am here.

Sadly, that train track ended a long time ago. When mid-2019 came around, I notice more and more people started to leave this community and even for myself, I started to get bored on the forums and server.

Some might say that this place is toxic and yes, it could get toxic at some times. Others might suggest that this place is dying (which in my view, yes and no).
This place can be basically dead at some points but also, this place has the most active people that I have ever seen on forums and which, it's a surprise to me.

But the time has come for me to say my farewell.

This place used to be home to me or my second to be exact. Writing, talking to people, cheering them up, making enemies and friends, it was an honor fighting by this place. From the toughest to where I am now. This place has taught me that I have a small talent and that I should keep on practicing that skill and use it in the future.

2020 is upon me, and I want to change what I couldn't succeed in 2019 by leaving this place and following what I love doing most.

No matter what day it is, what time it is, what year or century it is, don't forget that we're humans. We're growing from the inside believe it or not. We all have choices that we make that are either regretful or some that we wish we could go back to make it right.

But yea, this is my choice now, I want to do things and possibly change my attitude from when I return in 2021. I hope that everyone I made upset could somewhat forgive me from my actions. But again, the actions I made are unforgivable to those I hurt the most.

Oh, I think I said everything I wanted to address for a long time. Now, it's time to say my final words as people call it?

The past 2 years and 5 months on here have been one of the best memories I will always keep when looking back at my old self. This place has taught me many things that I wouldn't even have known without the awesome people in this place.

I'm off! The stones and bricks I'll leave behind, for now, are the comments and messages I've left on people's profiles while I was still here.
I mean, heck, I know a bunch of people that want me gone for a good amount of reasons which is fine but bashing that into my face is taken it to another level where it's disgusting. But that's just my view.

And one more thing before I leave you guys or whoever is reading this one the side note, take care of yourself. Know it or not, there are people out there coming for you, wanting to see you hurt. Watch out for those people. Be kind to each other, revenge never solves anything in any case; it just makes the matter worse than what it already is for you.

My social media:

Instagram: _IshEric
Discord: _IshEric_#8588
SnapChat: isheric
Xbox: ericthepvp

I think I'll be having the last word this time.

I left a hint on when I'm coming back around my profile.

But for now, my battle is over.